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Okay, now for a bit of fun.
Some malapropisms, mondegreens, Spoonerisms & eggcorns (as well as some simply bone-headed misstatements) for your enjoyment and edification.
"If you have that, the world is your walrus."
"I've got ears like a hawk."
"He looks like he's three sheep in the wind."
"I am going to let you move around more, just to break up the mahogany."
"We don't want to screw ourselves in the foot."
"I think it's time to get our sleeves dirty."
"You can't see the forest if you're barking up the wrong tree."
"We need to get our ducks in the fire."
"We don't want to go barking up a dead horse."
"We're going to come out of this smelling like geniuses!"
"The ball is squarely on our shoulders."
"It's like those who can't, don't have to!"
"Your work is late, but that's neither hide nor there!"
"Sometimes you have to turn a blind ear to these things."
"The best way to learn is from the school of Fort Knox."
"Don't do anything in public that you wouldn't do in private."
By e-mail: "... Does anyone have a concern? Speak now, or hold your piece!"
"The Indians are nervous at Waterloo."
"Throw that monkey back over the fence."
"Let's not put our dandruff up in the air."
"Those new salesmen are still green behind the ears."
"She really rubs me up the wrong tree."
A former CEO made the following statement. "Some of you think that only half of the Board of Directors do all the work and the rest do nothing, actually the reverse is true."
The receptionist asked me, "Do you still live at your current address?"
"Well, I'm just busier than a one-armed naked man."
"It depends whether you are drinking from the side of the glass that is half-full or half-empty."
My manager once said, "We triumphed over diversity."
