Monday, March 3, 2008

'Hard' Diplomacy

You’re walking down the street. You have two guns; a big one and a little one.

You come upon two men, one being robbed by the other, a brute with a club.

The two men turn to you and say, “Help Me!”

The brute with the club says, “Give me a hand. I’m gonna need more than this club. Sell me your gun and I’ll share what I get off this guy with you.”

You say, “Let me get this straight; you want to buy my gun in order to rob this guy more easily. And then you’ll split the spoils with me?”

The robber says, “Right. With one stipulation: I won’t have the money to buy the gun until after I rob him. Loan me the gun, I’ll pay for it afterward and share the spoils besides.”

The un-armed man is stunned and pleads for your assistance in thwarting this robber. “Please, give me a hand. This is all I have. Help me.”

What to do? What to do?

You can’t just loan the mugger a gun. That wouldn't be right.

Here’s the only thing you can do:

You keep the bigger gun, so the mugger can’t turn round and rob you.
(Hey! You’re no dummy.)

Then you loan the smaller gun to man with the club. He robs the unarmed man of everything he has, shooting him in the leg for daring to resist.

The robber pays you for the gun and, with your bigger gun trained on him, he divvies up the loot with you as he said he would.

Honor amongst thieves, after all.

You go buy two more little guns and walk the street looking for another robber with a club. Next time, you’ll sell the bullets, too.

This is what is called ‘US Foreign policy’.

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